walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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