So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
