The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
