if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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