you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
