I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize