Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
