She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
