so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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