I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
