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No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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