I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
