I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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