Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
