I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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