I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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