and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How does one acquire holy water?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
