I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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