Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
