Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize