You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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