Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
