I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize