i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
