all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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