That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I've blown a few things in my day
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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