That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
