He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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