Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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