I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
