3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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