You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize