and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
