my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
