We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
