Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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