If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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