Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
