Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
