That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize