evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize