At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
