Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
