She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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