After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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