Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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