well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
