The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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