singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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