You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize