im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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