yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
