whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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