You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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