if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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