She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
