I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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