I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
