I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
