You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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