is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
