Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
