dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize