Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
