I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
