For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
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