ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
