Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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