Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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