took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
