The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
