what day is it and did you see me today?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize