I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
